Defense Against The Dark Tea Leaves
by CryingCinderella
Summary: There are four DADA Teachers...The Gryffies still hate Trewlaney, and Ron & Harry are in for the sight of their lives when they earn a detention from her...(Very short WIP)


Disclaimer: It's J.K.'s world, I just like to play in it because she has the coolest toys, so welcome to the game. And when I'm done, I promise I'll put them all away.  
  
A/N: Hmm.where to start, where to start. Well I think it's best by saying that my life is officially screwy, but that is a known factor. Nevertheless my old and former muses and ideas have just not been flowing lately, so if there are older stories that have had updates promised, and they aren't there yet, please just bear with me, they'll get there eventually. School is back in and I'm juggling theater, marching band, SAT's, homecoming committee, ring ceremonies, running for class office, SGA, NHS, and a few other things so I've been pretty busy. (Did I mention all the college credit classes?) Anyway, this new muse came to me in a dream. I've never seen the pairing worked with before, so I'm hoping I'm the first, and I hope that you guys like it. So here goes nothing.on with the story!  
  
"And don't forget your essays on vampires due next class," said Sirius Black, one of four.  
  
"Make sure they're at least fifteen inches long!" Add Arabella Figgs.  
  
"Don't skimp on the info about their weakness to silver," called Remus Lupin.  
  
"And be sure to include an additional three inches for the counter- curse to bloodsucking," chimed Mad-Eye Moody. A loud groan erupted from the sixth year Gryfindor Defense Against The Dark Arts Class. Year after consecutive year, ever since Harry Potter's first year at Hogwarts, a teacher filling the position in question could not be expected to stay more then a year at best. But this year it was totally different, this year there were four of them and they were the "Defense League," two former teachers and two highly trained specialists, putting together their knowledge to help train the young minds of Hogwarts students.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes as the bell rang, he left the classroom, with Hermione and Ron following behind him. "You know, I love Sirius dearly, but if he doesn't lighten up with that homework.." He glanced at his two best friends and smiled. "Oh well, I guess I'll have to talk to him again. But now it's time for Divinations. We better hurry, it's a long hike up to the attic and we don't want to be late."  
  
"We?" asked Ron, looking at him as if he'd suddenly sprouted two heads. "Speak for yourself Harry, I would love nothing more then to just cut class today and head out to the pitch and practice for Saturday's game." Hermione snorted, and Ron looked at her. "What?"  
  
"Nothing really, I'm just glad I dropped that silly class when I had the chance. "Inner eye and Fortune Telling" what a bunch of nonsense, and honestly I'm glad I don't have to deal with Professor Trewlaney. The way you two rave about her, you'd think she was a crazy old lunatic who never came out of her little tea room in the attic!"  
  
"She doesn't!" Ron and Harry exclaimed at the same time.  
  
"Now that's not true and you know it. She came down for the Christmas feast our third year-"  
  
"Yeah and McGonagall almost scratched her 'inner eye' right out of her forehead!" Ron added as Harry stifled a chuckle. "Come on Hermione, everyone knows she's nuts."  
  
The Gryfindor girl rolled her eyes. "Whatever, if you don't mind I'm going to be late for Arithmancy. Good day," and she strode off down the hallway heading for the stairs. Just then, the Defense League came strolling out of their classroom, staring down at the Gryfindor Boys.  
  
"Aren't you going to be late for class?" asked Arabella.  
  
"Yes.CONSTANCE VIGILLANCE!" Moody barked before flashing them a rare smile.  
  
"You should really get going, you boys only have a minute or two and with your dreaded luck you're probably headed down to the dungeons, don't want to keep Snape waiting you know," said Lupin as he fussed with the backpack slung over his shoulders.  
  
"Yes Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, do hurry along, time for chit-chat later," said Sirius as he nudged them in the general direction away from the classroom door. He bent his head slightly and whispered in Harry's ear. "Leave your invisibility cloak in the DADA room after dinner would you?" He nodded slowly before taking off down the hallway with Ron, knowing that it was already too late to make it on time to Divinations.  
  
The two boys raced down the hall up and up the stairs rushing to get to class but the bell rang as they reached the trap door. Upon entering, the room was filled with the perfumey pink haze that it always was and everyone was already seated on fluffy pillows, but Professor Trewlaney was no where to be seen. Ron smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. "Looks like we made it, and the old bat is nowhere to be found."  
  
"Correction Mr. Weasley.." drawled the hazy voice of Professor Trewlaney from behind them. Both he and Harry spun around to see their Professor pressing tea leaves against the shelf near the door. "Gentlemen, you are late, and I knew you would be, so therefore I have prepared an accurate assessment of your punishment. Five points will be taken from each of you and you both report here for a detention at 7:00pm, which you will also be late for, so let me take an additional five points in advance."  
  
Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil squealed and giggled from their pillows that sat near Professor Trewlaney's main seat. The latter of the two smirked at Ron and he rolled his eyes. "Now, you may take a tea cup from the back and then take a seat near the front, we're going to be discussing the reading of dried tea-leaves verse fresh ones."  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm telling you! That was the longest most boring Divinations class that I have ever sat through! It couldn't have been worse if Malfoy were in it with us!" complained Harry to Hermione at dinner. She sat between him and Ron, quietly eating her London Broil as they recounted their horror stories from earlier that day.  
  
"Don't say that Harry! Things are always worse when Malfoy is around!" Ron smashed his spoon down into his mashed potatoes and ducked as a few bits flew across the table and hit Dean Thomas in the nose. "Oops, sorry 'bout that," he ducked again as Dean went to smack him.  
  
Dinner continued to be very uneventful, with the exception of Nearly Headless Nick's grand entrance up through the pudding as he chased Peeves round the Hufflepuff table. Harry looked down at his watch and then back up to Ron, "We should get going, we've got detention in ten minutes."  
  
"What's the rush?" he said with a mouthful of pudding, "Trewlaney said we were going to be late anyway, so let's give her predictions some merit for once in her life!" The Gryfindors started to giggle as both Ron and Harry stood up from the table. "Oh no! To our dooms we go!" Ron laughed heartily and led the way out of the Great Hall.  
  
"Just a minute, we need to make one quick stop."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"I promise Sirius that I'd drop my invisibility cloak off at the DADA room after dinner."  
  
"What's he want it for?"  
  
"Dunno. But it'll only take a minute," Harry turned the corridor that led to the DADA classroom. The hallway was deserted for the most part, except a small Ravenclaw third year, on his way back from the bathroom. "Wait here Ron, I'll be right out," he slipped his cloak over his head and disappeared into the DADA room. A moment later he returned cloakless. Ron smirked at him. "What?"  
  
"Oh nothing much, I just figured maybe Sirius wanted the cloak so he could scare Snape!" Harry smiled at his friend with a look of amusement. "He'll probably sneak down to the dungeons, sneak up behind the big black bat and say-"  
  
"Boo." An icy voice whispered from behind the boys. They both immediately started screaming!  
  
"Ahhh! It's a ghost, it's a goblin it's SNAPE!" cried Ron, but he was too frozen to move. Harry simply glared menacingly up at the tall dark Potions Master. He placed a hand on Ron's arm in attempts to get him to shut up, but they failed. "Run!"  
  
"Mr. Weasley.." his voice drawled in a most acidic tone. "Twenty points from Gryfindor. Now explain yourself quickly before I decided to make it thirty."  
  
"Professor we're on our way to a detention with Professor Trewlaney and I just remembered that I left my Defense book in the classroom and wanted to grab it on the way up there," said Harry coolly, lying through his teeth.  
  
Snape sneered, knowing straight up that it was a lie, but not being able to prove it, he stepped aside. "Indeed. Then get to your detention before I assign you one of my own for being out in the hallways loitering! Ten more points from Gryfindor!"  
  
"He can't do that! He-" Harry grabbed Ron's arm and took off down the hallway.  
  
"Ron. Shut up! You get us into more trouble, honestly you do!" The boys continued their long journey up to Trewlaney's room, arriving at the trap door ten minutes past seven. It was locked.  
  
"Guess she's not home, I'm going back to Gryfindor Tower-" Ron started but trailed off when he heard what he thought to be singing drifting down from her room. The boys exchanged glances and tried to stifle their laughter. "What on earth is she doing?"  
  
Suddenly the singing stopped and the trapdoor swung open. "Come up boys, you're late as I told you you would be!" her airy voice called from upstairs. They rolled their eyes and climbed up the ladder into her classroom. The thick pink haze seemed to be worse then usual and had a really strong smell of overripe fruit and flowers.  
  
"Good evening.." she said as they shut the trapdoor. "I'm afraid that your detention will not be anything interesting, like pressing or drying tea leaves, rather something a bit more boring if you will. You will help me finish cleaning." Both boys grumbled and rolled their eyes as they watched their Divinations teacher sway her hips across the room and pick up to magical cleaning wands. "Here..these know exactly what to do, it should be rather simple. Just do what they point to and let me know as soon as you're finished."  
  
"And where will you be?" asked Ron skeptically.  
  
"I have far more important things to attend to..my inner eye tells me that I will be receiving company shortly and I must prepare for it.." she placed the back of her hand against her forehead and sighed. "Do get to work.."  
  
Trewlaney disappeared through a tapestry on the wall. "What on earth do you suppose all that was about?" Ron asked, and Harry shrugged his shoulders and pointed the wand up. It jerked towards the pillows that were covered in dust. He sighed and walked over to the stack of pillows. "I mean you don't think she's actually expecting company do you Harry?"  
  
"Nah, I don't think she's expecting company, I think she's expecting a gentleman caller! Just listen!" Ron's mouth fell shut as he heard running water and soft music, as well as smelled the scent of something other then overripe fruit and flowers.  
  
"No way Harry. There is just no way. Trewlaney? But who?" The other boy shrugged his shoulders. "Well I think we should find out don't you?" Ron edged his way towards the tapestry that she had disappeared through just moments ago. "Come on, wont' you?"  
  
Harry looked at him nervously, "I don't like the idea of this.." but before he could back out, Ron had grabbed his arm and pulled him through the wall rug. The boys found themselves standing in a very large living room of sorts that most definitely belonged to their Divinations teacher. Large pillows covered the floor and a hazy pink fog hung low around the room. There was hardly any lighting, a few candles here and there, and of course, a table or two with teacups set out on them.  
  
"Wow. This is very interesting." Ron said gazing around the room. He could hear the running water coming from a door off to the side. "I bet she's in the shower." The boys wandered over to the door and watched little rays of steam curl out from the seams of the doorframe. A loud click was heard from outside in the classroom. "Shit! Someone's coming!"  
  
Harry and Ron did the only sensible thing they could think of, they hid behind a set of long velvety drapes, concealing themselves from view, but still maintaining their vantagepoint of her 'living room.' The water in the bathroom stopped and Trewlaney's voice rang out. "I hear you out there..give me just a second! And tell my brats in detention that they can back to their rooms," her voice sounded nothing like it normally did, almost alive and bouncy now.  
  
A deep voice responded. "Alright love, but there's no one here." Ron nearly gagged as Harry threw his hand in front of his mouth to keep himself from screaming. They watched as the bathroom door swung open, and steam from within flowed out before a figure appeared in its wake. She wore only a pale pink bathrobe and her bouncy brown hair seemed almost normal, hanging straight down on her shoulders. Walking away from the bathroom, Trewlaney kicked the door shut, went over to the tapestry, and poked her head out into the classroom.  
  
"Come on..why don't you come in and stay awhile?" her voice drawled to him almost seductively. "Forget about my lackadaisical sixth years..they want to skip out of detention early..I'll just take points off their homework. They fake it anyway." She stepped back into her living room bringing a tall dark figure in with her. "Come on love, won't you sit and stay awhile?"  
  
Ron nearly gagged as one of their four DADA teachers entered the room. Harry practically fell over, as he watched his godfather sit down on one of the many large pillows that scattered the floor. "Do tell me..how did you manage to sneak up here?" She mused and sat down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Must be dreadful to escape the 'pack' Arabella especially."  
  
"Not all that hard. Not if you've got the right connections, if you know what I mean." He winked and smiled at her as her hands slipped around to the front of his robes, "Yes that's lovely it's a touch warm in here.." he relaxed into her arms and allowed the Divinations woman to undo the buttons on his robes. "I knew Harry would come in use someday, that cloak of his does wonders."  
  
She finished unbuttoning his robes and pushed them off his shoulders, rendering him topless. "Oh really..I've only heard rumor of the thing. Does it actually exist? And does it really work?" Her lips leaned themselves close to his cheek. "I'd love to see it.."  
  
"They'll be time for that later my little teacup.." he whispered in her ear, nibbling lightly on her earlobe. "You are looking warm, and I'm so glad all your dratted beads aren't in the way tonight.." he smiled as she leaned back into the pillows. "The room feels especially alive tonight, have you been trying something new?"  
  
"No Sirius..why do you ask? Though I did have those Gryfindor brats clean the classroom with a quick clean wand..maybe some of the fumes escaped through the tapestry.." every word she spoke seemed to be filled with lust.  
  
"Sybil..your eyes are sparkling so brightly tonight, I love it when they glow.."  
  
"Hush..you flatter me far beyond what is necessary.."  
  
"Just to prove my undying love for you darling.."  
  
Ron felt violently sick as his face turned greener then a giant troll boogie. Harry too felt as if his knees would collapse and he would hit the floor spewing up dinner. They continued to watch as their professors undressed each other, feeling violently ill as they did. It was disgusting to watch from behind heavy velvet drapes.  
  
"Sybil, you look wonderful tonight," he whispered softly staring down at her creamy naked body. "Your breasts are like beautiful flowers that bloom from the lively tree that is your body. And your eyes shine like bright stars in the night, your hair like a flowing waterfall that cascades down your neck and back, tumbling over your perfect shoulders. And your stomach, so flat and smooth.."  
  
"Oh Sirius.." she moaned softly as his hands reached down to caress her breasts. "Really, my inner eye tells me that such actions are not appropriate for such audiences.."  
  
His pulsing erection nudged against her thigh. For being the eccentric divination teacher, she had a gorgeous body. A thin and lank figure, pale and creamy flesh, with small but perky breasts, curvaceous and proportional hips, long and slender legs, and soft and dainty feet. He was ready for her and she for him, as she pulled her arms around his strong and muscular back.  
  
"You know, ever since you've come back to teach, your figure has improved a great deal.." she whispered huskily. "What a man..what did I do to deserve you?" She shifted under his weight as they melded down into the massive pillows that covered her floor.  
  
"You are you Sybil.."  
  
She smiled and kissed him deeply, her tongue slipping into his mouth quite gracefully. From behind the velvet drape, Ron closed his eyes tightly and chanted in his head, "think un-sexy thoughts, think un-sexy thoughts.." And the first thing that came to mind was Professor Snape dressed in a pink tutu waltzing around the great hall. He had to catch himself before bursting into laughter.  
  
"The tea leaves.." she purred softly and Sirius reached over to a nearby table and grabbed a pouch of soft fragrant leaves, ripping it open and allowing their scent to fill the already heavy air. "Ah..chamomile..my favorite.." Sybil said softly, licking her lips as he poured them over her body. His hands began to massage them into her skin, releasing the sensuous scent into her flesh. She moaned softly as his hands continued their ministrations, while his lips slid down and kissed her breasts.  
  
"Oh Sirius!" she cried as he nudged his erection at her opening. "Please..do it now.." he smiled and kissed her lips harshly, forcing his length into her in one long penetrating thrust. She cried out loudly as he began to pump in and out of her. "Sirius! Sirius!" His name tumbled off her lips as he pounded into her, like a wild savage animal. Harry cringed from his hiding spot, trying desperately not to get turned on by this sudden turn of events, amidst his detention.  
  
Her wet walls clamped down tightly on his erection as she spiraled over the edge, screaming his name. Just a few more strokes and he was there, careening along with her as he too fell from his climax back to earth. They laid, trembling in each other's arms, bodies slick with sweat, hair matted to foreheads, breathing heavy and labored."  
  
"That my dear..was simply amazing.." he kissed her cheek softly as he rolled off her onto the large pillows. "I really must come up here more often, though it is a dreadfully long hike from the DADA room." He smiled playfully at her and she returned his smile with a swift smack on the thigh.  
  
"You are too much." Sybil sighed and looked at him, "But now my inner eye tells me that we should be heading for the bathroom..so that you can freshen up a bit before returning downstairs to meet with your 'crew' for your Defense meeting."  
  
"I'll be late.." he frowned at the thought of leaving his Divine beauty.  
  
"My inner eye saw this..and I know exactly what you can tell them when they ask, and believe me they will. You must simply tell them that you were mastering a defense against another form of dark arts.."  
  
"Oh really..Hey Arabella, Alastor, and Remus, I'm late because I was mastering defense against the dark art of seduction..then what?"  
  
She snorted and smiled. "No silly, you were mastering defense against the dark tea leaves, because they are not yet done with you.."  
  
TBC  
  
So what did you think? Review?? Please??? Thanks! 


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